Review of "When My Heart Was Wicked"

"She is still out there."

     In Tricia Stirling's When My Heart Was Wicked, the fragile peace of a hopeful young girl is abruptly shattered by a ghost from her history. Lacy Finn has lived in fear of her mother for years, terrified of the day she is released from jail and decides to take her daughter back. She likes the life she's made in Chico--a life of friendship, botany, chemistry, and light magic. After her father's death, her stepmother is the only person she can turn to for comfort. When Cheyenne, her birth mom, shows up in Chico with the legal right to reclaim custody of her child, Lacy's world is turned upside down. Instead of cardigans and cats, she has fitted black clothes and dark thoughts. Here, there are no protection spells, only curses and charms that defy the laws of nature. If lacy is going to salvage her future, she's going to have to confront the past--and the Lacy she once was has plans to return.

     Lacy is a very imaginative girl, and Stirling's writing very much embodies that. She has become quite adept at noticing the magic Anna, her stepmother, insists can be found in everyday life. She even keeps a mermaid's eye in her collection of extraordinary things and whispers growth spells to her herb garden. Even she isn't certain the magic is real, but it's part of who she is and she does it anyway. The prose itself carries this whimsy further, putting a bit of distance between reader and character in the process. Although this seems like it would be a bad thing, it allows the audience a sense of perspective without losing its grip on the charming yet unreliable narrator.

     Cheyenne Finn is a cold-hearted woman with a vicious spirit. She is the kind of person who encases live butterflies in wax and pins them up in her house, and raises plants that remain brown and lifeless no matter how well they are treated. What she wants from her daughter is more dangerous than love or company, worse than even Lacy can suspect. And her influence goes far beyond dictating Lacy's wardrobe and leaving her cat with Anna. The longer she stays with Cheyenne, the more her thoughts darken. Her spells, quite real, become vengeful. When she suffers at the hands of a cruel schoolmate, how she reacts will determine who she becomes--whether she gives in to Cheyenne's dark nature or rises above it, a struggle that is more difficult than it sounds.

     The magic in Lacy's story is much different than the sparkly lights and energy-zappers of other tales. This kind of magic is rooted more in herbalism and small rituals. When used for good, it can make plants bloom or bring good dreams. In the wrong hands, it inspires spells and rituals that hurt, kill, or even resurrect, although this last drains life from the surrounding area in order to work. And living with Cheyenne definitely puts Lacy at risk of becoming those wrong hands. As she spends more time with her mother, her cheery outlook on life is replaced by something grim and scary. The urge to take up self-harm returns for the first time in years, and is described in a bit of detail. Similarly, a boy's attempt to force himself on her is documented fully. The profanity is of medium strength and rare, as is crude language. One character blames herself for her mother's miscarriage.

     I would recommend this book to older teens interested in a toxic mother-daughter relationship and the internal struggle of darkness against light. Lacy is an intriguing character with more depth than meets the eye, working extraordinarily hard to become the kind of person she wants to be. But when her wicked, neglectful birth mother returns, she must fight harder than ever to hang on to the good girl she has become. Tricia Stirling deals with the dark topics in this novel well, and while the prose is rather whimsical it has a solid foundation. It could have used a little more light; otherwise, it is well-crafted and well-paced. There are a few potential trigger topics, though, so sensitive readers should tread lightly. In the end, When My Heart Was Wicked is a good, solid read deserving three stars.