Review of "I'd Tell You I Love You, But Then I'd Have to Kill You"

"No, Ms. Morgan, once this starts--it doesn't stop."

     In Ally Carter's I'd Tell You I Love You, But Then I'd Have To Kill You, we don't just explore the love life of one of the top teen spies in the nation--we get pulled right into her world, complete with parenthetical side notes and highly classified missions. Cammie Morgan is a chameleon, able to blend into any crowd and disappear into any background. At any other school, that might be helpful against bullies, but at the Gallagher Academy for Exceptional Young Women, it's the key to getting an "A". Because the Gallagher Academy doesn't only teach its girls math, chemistry, and English--it teaches them advanced martial arts, the history of chemical warfare, and the top five places to buy black market explosives in St. Petersburg. But Cammie is about to find out that there is a subject they don't cover at the Gallagher Academy, one that might just be vital to survival: boys.

     The plot of I'd Tell You I Love You is straightforward. Cammie Morgan, a student at the Gallagher Academy for Exceptional Young Women, is on track to become a top-rate spy, but first she has to get through her classes. That should be easy to accomplish--except that, this year, the headmistress has hired a new Covert Operations teacher. Young, direct, and fresh from the field, Joe Solomon immediately sends the class on a practice mission: follow one of the other teachers, a former CIA operative, through the town fair to figure out what he likes to drink with his funnel cakes. Everything is going well until Cammie--invisible Cammie, whom nobody sees unless she wants them to--is drawn into conversation by an ordinary boy. Thus begins a teenaged romance that combines 007 with Cinderella in the most delicious way.

     The characters in this book are incredibly lovable. There's Bex, who can make you think she's anyone; Liz, a technical expert with an IQ that's off the charts; and Macey, the senator's daughter who thinks she's just been enrolled in a school for snobbish heiresses. Each girl has her own quirks and habits that make them seem real. And the students are not the only ones who are depicted in detail; the teachers are also unique and distinct. From Mr. Smith, who changes his appearance every summer, to the accident-prone Dr. Fibs, the teachers at Gallagher are just plain fun to read. It's hard not to get attached to everyone, even Josh, the somewhat one-dimensional love interest.

     I love the way Carter weaves action into her plot. Whether it's a driving test or an undercover operation, each action scene is filled with tension and is realistic to a fault. As I read, I sometimes felt I could close my eyes and find myself right there with Cammie, taking down guards and disabling security systems. Although there is violence, nothing is even remotely graphic and there is no death. Characters do not cuss in I'd Tell You I Love You (with the exception of one "You b---!", which offends the protagonist greatly), and the romance never goes beyond a few sweet kisses.

     Carter's writing style fits the story well, filled as it is with parenthetical comments and teenaged hyperbole. However, this does have the effect of making the protagonist seem younger than she really is; I kept having to remind myself that Cammie was a sophomore and not a seventh grader. This was a little disappointing for me, as I've grown used to YA stories whose protagonists' internal voices match their age. Other than that, though, the writing in this book is perfectly sound.

     I would recommend this book to anyone looking for a relatively short book about first love and teenaged spies. Cammie and her friends are great characters, and although I wouldn't recommend their story to adults I would definitely offer it up to any teenager looking for some fun. However, the protagonist's internal dialogue sounds a little too young, and characters don't change much over the course of the story. Because of this, I'd Tell You I Love You, But Then I'd Have To Kill You deserves a solid four stars. Check out Ally Carter's novel the next time you visit the library for some super-spy fun!